The Pretty Mirror
A couple of weeks ago, I spent a day and night in Portsmouth, NH with some of my girlfriends. We were there with the intention to eat, shop, and most importantly, dance our faces off. We did all of the above, and we also got a bonus - we learned how a simple act of kindness and gratitude can ripple out through the rest of our lives.
We ate lunch at the River House, a spot with good food and great views of the harbor and the iconic tugboats. Our waitress, though, was the star of the meal, a true gem - attentive, energetic, engaged, and kind. At the end, we let her know how much we enjoyed spending the hour with her, and we decided that we should tell the manager how wonderful she was too.
We approached the hostess stand and informed her we’d like to speak to the manager. She gave us a skeptical look, maybe taken aback that we’d asked at all, and maybe especially curious as we appeared appreciative and content rather than grouchy or disgruntled in our approach. She asked why we wanted to speak to the manager and without hesitating we told her why.
It was maybe 10 minutes between when the hostess left and the manager returned - we had other plans for the day, but we felt this time was well spent. While we waited, a handsome guy at the bar started chatting with us. He said he thought it was cool that we were taking the time to acknowledge the waitress and felt compelled to say so — what a lovely intro for a single guy and 2 out of 5 single gals! While I can’t claim this moment led to a big romance for any of my friends, I can say it was nice to see how unexpected connections can happen because of kind deeds. There are infinite possibilities for love and kindness to grow from one single kind act.
After we shared with the manager how much we loved our waitress, we left the restaurant feeling the natural high that comes from shining a spotlight on someone else. It was then that we came up with my new favorite game - find one stranger to share a genuine compliment with before the end of the day.
We set out with our new intention — shining a pretty mirror on someone else — and let me tell you, it was super fun. Once you start looking for ways to compliment someone else, you tune into the magick all around you. You don’t spend a thought on the impatient person rolling their eyes in line, you’re not sad at the fact that your favorite ice cream flavor is sold out (because there’s something new and even better calling your name), and you don’t worry for a second that the Robyn-themed dance part you were planning on going to was canceled (because you know whatever you do instead will be magick too).
You do notice the beautiful earrings a stranger is wearing, and oh dang, turns out they made them! You do notice the person walking their beloved one-legged dog and the swell of love and pride they feel in telling you the rescue story. You do notice the mom asking an inquisitive daughter, “why do you think the plant does that?” while walking through the community garden, which is, as it turns out, a well-practiced ritual the mom has for intentionally fostering curiosity.
After that weekend, I adopted the “Pretty Mirror” as part of my every day life. I see it as a way to reflect the beauty BOTH in ourselves and in the people around us. I hope that every time you see yourself in the mirror, you take the opportunity to affirm all the beauty and good you see there, to remind yourself that you are beautiful, strong, curious, passionate, brave, loving, and just pure magick! If it feels right, I hope you’ll also consider adopting the Pretty Mirror as a mindset for interacting with the world. When we actively look for what inspires us and what we admire about other people and then share with them what we find awesome about them, we learn a little bit more about who we are and what we value, and we also form a connection with someone else forged in love.
The Pretty Mirror here is our chance to shine a spotlight on some of the thoughts, creations, and people that we find beautiful and inspiring. We are grateful for all who have brought this work into the world. Here are a few quotes I’d like to spotlight today:
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?”
~Mary Oliver, “The Summer Day”
“Follow what lights you up and you will light up the world”
~Rebecca Campbell
“Maybe the witch to you represents a lavish going-against the norms, crossing boundaries, voicing one’s opinions, drinking, cackling loudly, making noise, taking up space, feasting and dancing. Maybe it means a lack of guilt or shame, finding meaning in a spiritual landscape without the disempowerment or subjugation of mainstream religions. That one should feel guilt for one’s pleasures is something the witch has perhaps always rejected as an idea, in both fairy tales and ‘real life.’ Those who were opinionated, who earned their own money or owned their own land, maybe they didn’t fit into the flow of society. And maybe you don’t have to either.”
~Sarah Robinson in Kitchen Witch - Food, Folklore, & Fairy Tale
“Contrary to popular belief, magic isn’t supernatural. True, it is an occult (hidden) practice steeped in millennia of secrecy, slander, and misinformation, but it is a natural practice utilizing genuine powers that haven’t been discovered or labeled by science.
This doesn’t invalidate magic. Even scientists don’t claim to know everything about our universe. If they did, the field of scientific investigation wouldn’t exist. The powers the Wiccans use will eventually be documented and so lose their mystery. Such has already partially occurred to hypnotism and psychology, and may soon happen to extra-sensory perception. Magnetism, indeed, was a firmly established aspect of magic until it was “discovered” by science.”
~Scott Cunningham in Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
~Dolly Parton
“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I now choose calmly and objectively to see my old patterns, and I am willing to make changes. I am teachable. I can learn, I am willing to change. I choose to have fun doing this. I choose to react as though I have found a treasure when I discover something new to release. I see and feel myself changing moment by moment. Thoughts have no power over me. I am the power in the world. I choose to be free. All is well in my world.”
~Louise Hay in You Can Heal Your Life
Prescott Park, Portsmouth, NH